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Big rigs and arm wrestling: That’s what Lincoln Hawk does!

19. August 2009

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And to think, all this time I thought truckers just ate, showered and pooped at truck stops. But now that I’ve seen “Over the Top,” I know the truth: There’s mad arm wrestling going on in the trucker scene — or so Sylvester Stallone would have us believe.Stallone co-scripted this 1987 classic, which tells the […]

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“Runaway Train” a good concept, average movie

6. July 2009

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“Runaway Train” a good concept, average movie

The shortest way to review this movie would be to say that the idea of a movie starring Eric Roberts, Jon Voight and Rebecca De Mornay; directed by Andrei Konchalovsky, who helmed Tango and Cash; and was the inspiration for Speed and Speed 2: Cruise Control is much better than the actual film. But faced with that level of potential for the greatest, me and Joe set out to find this movie, which is no longer available on DVD or VHS.

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Flashback: ‘Tango & Cash’ is money

14. May 2009

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Flashback: ‘Tango & Cash’ is money

This week Goat and DRock are taking the "Flashback Friday" machine all the way back to 1989 — when Sly Stallone and Kurt Russel teamed up to take down the likes of Clint Howard and Jack Palance. Between debating the artistic and ass-kicking merits of the titular characters, the Last Action Heroes manage to crank out a review of this classic buddy cop flick.

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Statham not immune to making horrible movies

14. May 2009

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Statham not immune to making horrible movies

Jason Statham’s been getting a lot of Last Action Heroes love lately. Now I like Statham. He’s got a sweet accent, he’s pretty badass and he makes some good action movies. But I think it’s only fair to point out that even Statham makes a truly horrible movie here and there. And I’m not talking […]

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Neeson kicks ass, takes stuff without mercy

13. May 2009

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Neeson kicks ass, takes stuff without mercy

Don’t f*** with Liam Neeson. Just don’t. That’s more or less the central thesis of "Taken," which made its long-awaited (at least to the Last Action Heroes) move to DVD on Tuesday. Simply put, this movie is awesome. It’s a true action movie. There’s a clearly defined action star, some bad acting, an easy-to-follow plot and a small army of bad guys who get dead.

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Cena faces off with dogs, bicyclists in ’12 Rounds’

1. May 2009

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Cena faces off with dogs, bicyclists in ’12 Rounds’

"12 Rounds" is not a good movie. Hell, it's not even a very good action movie. I wanted to like it. I really did. Simply crunching some numbers on this film, it seems destined for success. For starters, you've got John Cena in the starring role. The professional wrestler-turned-actor is made for the action genre. He's built like a tank, is fairly charismatic and has declared his love for "Commando" in past interviews. He gave a somewhat "meh" performance in "The Marine," but I'm willing to give anyone a second chance.

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Riki-Oh: The story of gruesome kung-fu beatdowns

30. April 2009

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Riki-Oh: The story of gruesome kung-fu beatdowns

I’ll see a movie every once in awhile that, once after viewing it for the first time, I cannot wait to watch it again. This happened when I watched “Road House,” the cable TV classic that is quite possibly the best action movie ever made. “Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky” is one of those movies. […]

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Flashback: Humanitarians, rappers have no place in action genre

24. April 2009

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From here on out, every Friday will be “Flashback Fridays” where we pull out a vintage LAH column and bring it to life on the Internets.  Today, we bring to you the Spring 2005 Registration Issue of LAH.  Joe and DRock teamed up to review two awful action movies in “Full Clip” and “Strike Force.” […]

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Crank: A dating experience

20. April 2009

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I woke up early Saturday morning. Knowing that my girlfriend was out kind of late, having some beer and dinner with her friends (and me not returning her “bed-time” calls, because I fell asleep at 10), I figure 6 o’clock on a Saturday is a perfect time to call. After getting through the initial groans […]

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Crank: High Voltage

17. April 2009

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If there is an heir apparent to the action throne then it’s probably Jason Statham.  The movies this guy stars in embody everything the movies that Van Damme, Seagal and Schwarzenegger stood for in their prime.  Bad one-liners, horrible acting, insane plots–his movies have it all.  “Crank: High Voltage” was no different. It might be […]

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